Critical scholars have long called for state recognition of de facto families, beyond legal or biological ties, as a pathway toward inclusion of more diverse family forms. This article asks to what extent recognition of de facto families indeed leads to more inclusion, in the context of a restrictive immigration regime in which families need state permission to live together. It zooms in on migration law practice in the Netherlands, through an analysis of laws and regulations, work instructions of street-level implementers, and interviews with migration lawyers. It finds that conceptions of family-as-doing which focus on practices of dependency and care play a small but significant role in Dutch migration law, enabling inclusion of families beyond the nuclear model. However, recognition of de facto families may lead to new forms of state scrutiny of intimate lives, as well as to new forms of exclusion.