In this article, I argue for a both – and position in regard to manuals. I suggest that manuals are appropriate when describing therapeutic strategizing and technical competence. However, I also argue that they are an inappropriate tool for understanding the contribution of the client’s family in family therapy. This argument fuels a further view that manuals cannot capture the dance that occurs between therapist and family. For this type of knowledge, a relational type of competence needs to be developed.