Abstract
The term “Incel” refers to a group of boys and/or men who feel that they have been unjustly denied relationships and sex with women due to an unfair social system, and some Incels have committed violence based on these beliefs. More broadly, self-identified Incels face social and mental health issues and can hold negative beliefs about women and other marginalized genders, which may lead them to harm both themselves and others. In this research, we seek to understand the experiences that may lead men to become Incels. We interviewed 21 people who identified as former Incels about their experiences joining and leaving Incel groups, with the goal of understanding how men find their way into these groups, and how resources might be adapted to prevent young men from becoming Incels. A reflexive thematic analysis generated two major themes with subthemes. The first theme, Seeking help online for struggles meeting masculinity norms, had three subthemes that reflected the specific struggles being experienced: I’m a loser because I can’t get women, I’m all alone, and I have no value. The second theme, Down the rabbit hole: Finding help online from the Incel community, had three subthemes that reflected the several ways they were validated by the community: It’s not your fault, You belong here, and You are special. These findings highlight specific pathways that lead men to Incel communities and why they join them, and potential points for intervention that center pressures for boys and men to conform to masculine norms.