Abstract
This article begins by discussing ‘developmentalism’, one of the key debates that has characterised the current theoretical impasse in the development of childhood studies. I use Norbert Elias’s concept of the relation between love and learning as a foundation to develop the way in which young children’s development is a non‐linear, temporal and embodied process. I argue that we need to develop a relational approach that moves beyond some of the binary divisions between ‘nature’ and ‘biology’, drawing on concepts from particular theoretical traditions that have been under‐utilised, particularly the relational school of psychoanalysis and the work of Maurice Merleau‐Ponty.