Abstract
Objective
Having a responsive partner is important for the well‐being of relationships. Unfortunately, people with low self‐esteem (LSEs) perceive their partners to be less responsive than do people with high self‐esteem (HSEs). Although the common assumption has been that LSEs’ negative partner perceptions are “all in their heads”—a reflection of their negative self‐projection—we argue that LSEs’ views of lower partner responsiveness are, in fact, warranted.
Method
Across two studies (N
Study1 = 122 couples, M
age = 22.28, 50% female; N
Study2 = 73 couples, M
age = 19.96, 51% female), we examined LSEs’ and HSEs’ perceptions of their partners’ responsiveness to their negative self‐disclosures, comparing them with partners’ reports (Study 1) and ratings from objective coders following a negative experience created in the lab (Study 2).
Results
Consistent with our hypothesis, partners of LSEs were less responsive than partners of HSEs to disclosers’ negative self‐disclosures, as rated by disclosers, listeners, and objective observers. Study 3 (N = 99, M
age = 33.19, 54% female) explored possible mechanisms behind these self‐esteem differences.
Conclusions
The finding that partners of LSEs (vs. HSEs) are less responsive may contribute to LSEs’ poorer relationships.