The vantage point of this article is the growing body of knowledge about how the child’s interaction with its caregivers impacts on later development. With reference to the Transaction Model it is argued that knowledge about child specific and parental premises for developmentally supportive relationships is both applicable and necessary for therapists working with troubled children. The article, furthermore, argues that the parents’ understanding of their child’s behaviour and developmental characteristics is an obvious target when we face families with troubled children in therapy. The relevance and applicability of three fields of research; attachment, temperament and narrative development is explored and a model for applying knowledge from these fields in a family therapy context using participant observation and reflecting dialogues is presented.