Unpaid carers are essential to the care of people living with cognitive impairment in the UK, yet their lived experiences and identities are often marginalized within policy and practice frameworks. This article presents findings from a qualitative study of unpaid carers in North Wales, exploring how individuals articulate, negotiate, and sometimes resist the identity of ‘carer’. Using a narrative (life story) methodology, the research uncovers the complexity and fluidity of carer identity, shaped by personal values, familial roles, and socio-cultural expectations. Many participants did not self-identify as carers, viewing their actions as extensions of familial or marital commitment rather than as a distinct social role. The study highlights the limitations of current assessment models, which frequently fail to capture carers’ diverse motivations, evolving needs, and the emotional impact of caring. Drawing on these insights, the article proposes the carer identity model of assessment and support, advocating for holistic, relational, and flexible approaches that foreground carers’ voices and promote empowerment. The findings have implications for policy and practice in Wales and comparable international contexts, calling for a shift beyond static frameworks towards genuinely person-centred and relationship-based support.