Abstract
This collaborative autobsethnography study elucidates the experiences of four Indonesian lecturers, who earned their PhD degrees from Australian universities, as they maneuver the intricacies of research publication, emphasising identity tensions and institutional characteristics. Our narratives enrich research productivity literature by revealing the complexities of balancing idealistic and pragmatic approaches to research. Our PhD experiences have shaped our subjectivities and historicity, defining our understanding of ideal research practices and publication standards. Conversely, our current working conditions impose unique research practices and standards influenced by our diverse responsibilities. Reflecting on our stories, this study offers a nuanced understanding of the complexities of research productivity in Indonesian higher education, examining the interplay between macro (ministerial) and meso (institutional) factors and the transnational identities of the authors. Utilising an integrated theoretical model of research productivity, we explore the intersection of identity and perceived environment as a negotiation site. We contend that unmanageable workloads, distinct national publication standards, and varied working cultures significantly impact research productivity.